Every runner has a story to tell and has reasons of putting that one foot in front of the other. The endorphins, camaraderie,experience,self expression, podium, fitness, passion, name it.

But for me that day, I just wanted to RUN HOW I FEEL, to execute as fast as I can, as mad as I can! There was this angst of fire inside me that I wanted to unleash. I was filled with rage! Was screaming inside. Felt so broke and sobbed out like a kid.

I just had low morale a week prior to this event that even put me to a decision of withdrawing. But last minute, the other side was saying “just go!”. I bought flower to cheer myself up hoping to get the energy I needed, so I went and toed the line. Congratulations to this self for showing up.


I knew physical pain will be there regardless, with no exception. Being mindful of what causes it like is it because of dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, low of calories or feeling tired are vital that needs immediate remedy. Thankful that there were friends along the course who handed me over some electrolytes before I reach the next refreshment station.

Hitting my low point, I reminded myself why I was there in the first place, why I love to run and oh, did I really gone this far? Gritted those teeth and carried on. You are already here so keep going! In my alone moments, I’d scream out loud “fuck life!! I so love you life!..and the self talk continued. Don’t get me wrong, but I love self talks in running ultras. Two feet are still in tack that’s what matters. I remember when both my legs cramped and didn’t want to move at all, I talked to them like, “hey!you’ve trained for this right? So what’s the drama down there all about? It’s just temporary, you will be fine tomorrow, keep moving! keep moving!. the rest was history…they eventually followed.

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