It’s Okay Not To Be Okay – Day 34 of 100

You ever have a season where you just feel lost? Like you’re working so hard, but you’re not sure what for? You’re frustrated because you aren’t yet where you want to be, yet you don’t know how to get there? You’re starting to resent your work, even though deep down you know you love it? You tend to question everything?

That’s where I was last night. Feeling defeated. Utterly discouraged. Felt those shits. Questioning my purpose. Carrying so much on my shoulders and wanting help but unsure how to ask for it. I felt like taffy, stretched so thin trying to give my time and energy to so many things that I wasn’t really giving anything to anyone at all.

Holy cow! I just pity partied last night and eventually ended up crying.

I think I just miss my family so much.Working abroad is not easy. I miss home. I miss the solace of my birthplace. I just felt tired..totally.

I intentionally put this photo today to uplift my spirit. This was taken last year when I took my vacation. This is our backyard.

I hate writing about the negativeness that’s going on around me.  And I could say that my mood is seasonal. I can’t even drag my feet this morning for my normal running routine. Woke up 4:30am as my body clock is already set to it, went to toilet, stretched a little while, glanced at my running gears.But you know what’s next? I ended up going back to bed.

We all get discouraged. We all feel lost. We all have our moments. It’s what we do when we feel these things that makes all the difference. So I tried to figure out how to make my day today despite those bulgy eyes.

Here are just some of the few:

CREATE A CHEERFUL ENVIRONMENT

As I got into the shower, I played crazily the early Christmas jingles music on my phone, moved the body a bit, smiled at the mirror while brushing my teeth saying “I’ll be ok”.

THROW A FAKE SMILE UNTIL IT GETS REAL

I know, my roommates would notice  that my eyes were puffy from crying,  so I made a first move of throwing them a smile with loud greetings of “good morning! how was your sleep?” The conversation went on so at least it lessens the heavy feelings I had.

LISTEN TO MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS

As I took my breakfast, I avoided checking on social media accounts. Instead, I tuned in to motivational speakers.  My favorite one is Mel Robbins.

WRITE A JOURNAL

Now, that I’m on my desk, I didn’t even know where to start and where to get some motivational words. But the thought of punch those damn keys anyway, brought me to today’s post haha! And can’t believe I’m almost done writing ! Doing so has made me more in tune with my emotions and is the reason I was able to pinpoint how I was feeling last night, today and even figured out what was causing it.

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

When you feel something, the worst thing you can do is minimize it. If you pretend your feelings don’t exist and sweep them under the rug, they’ll continue to build and build and build until you explode. Be honest with yourself, no need to put a positive spin on it. I admit that I felt crap last night and it just unleashed that heavy feeling.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE

While on my way to work, I thought of the things that I am thankful for. Fortunate that I have work, that my family is ok, that I have friends, that there’s a sunshine, that I am still alive, and that today is another day.

If you’re in a funk, know that it will pass as long as you do something about it.

Have a fab day to you!!

==May Happiness Be With You==

5 thoughts on “It’s Okay Not To Be Okay – Day 34 of 100

Add yours

  1. I can relate so much! I literally answered “Yes” to every question you had. I’ve been going through it as well but I guess it’s normal to feel lost at some points in your life. Thank you for this post! I actually find it comforting. I hope we can moved past it soon enough. Good luck to you! 🙂

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    1. Hi gurl! Thanks for the time reading. This journey is a roller coaster and it happens from time to time. But one thing is for sure..it always passes. I came across your profile and you are from Philippines! Yehey! You just gave me the energy I needed from the place I’m longing right now…xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hey, you’re welcome! 🙂 Let’s just hope for the best and look forward to things to pass!
        Glad I came across your profile too and be of some help. Kayang kaya mo yan! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for your time reading hun. Post like this will surely brings us smile in the future when we’re feeling ok and when we’ve already moved on and would just realize holy cow!! Seriously??it happened to me?🤣🙈🙈

    Like

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