Regretting? Crying? Questioning? Dieting? Hating Yourself?
Running after people who don’t give a shit about you?
You have one life. Spend it well, to people you love, to family, go out and live.
Got a terrible stomach upset last night that brought me to frequently run to toilet almost overnight till morning. There was an instance where I was stuck inside for almost an hour because I experienced unbearable abdominal cramps, lightheadedness, rapid heart rate and a having cold sweat. I knew and felt I was about to pass out. My surrounding was turning black. I couldn’t even stand up to open the door to ask for help because I felt so dizzy. It was 1:30 in the morning and everyone was in deep sleep. No cellphone on hand where I can call emergency hotline for rescue. No once could hear me even I’ve scream for help. Couldn’t even utter words because I literally felt like withered.
In those moment, I realized life can be taken in an instant. No matter how healthy and strong I looked, I couldn’t even say no to God and tell Him I’m not ready if it was my time. Couldn’t even say i love you and bidvgoodbye to people I’ll be left behind. I might sound absurd but it was a moment of helplessness.
I panicked, cried, pray, breathed, relaxed. Let the prefrontal cortex work. Closed my eyes, took deep breathed..inhale..exhale..repeatedly. I knew I needed oxygen and moved my fingers to just let myself aware that I was still in conscious state. After a while, I regained my strength, managed to stand up slowly, got some water, made an electrolytes to rehydrate and continued crying and thanking God I’m alive.
Was diagnosed of food poisoning. I am well now. Continue rehydrating, recuperating the electrolytes lost and appreciating every single breath I have right now.
We all know that death is certain but when and how is uncertain. I am too far million miles away from my family. Couldn’t even get the chance to hug them right now. But for you who are fortunate to be with and surrounded by them, do it.
In the end, you and I will die one day. But before that day comes. Let us live a LIFE well spent.
I love you…sending my virtual hug..