Just dealing with some emotional issues right now.  A dear friend just died, motorcycle accident. She was one of my best friend, an angel, roommate, a pharmacist, a mother of 3 kiddos.  Two years ago I posted here about sending her off to the airport because she’d already finished her contract and went back to our home country for good. That was my last memory and last hug with her. I was literally crying as I waved goodbye for some reason  but I never thought that would be the last and will never see her again.

Currently I am also in struggle of trying to fake a smile but my heart is being devoured by insecurities and jealousy.  Never been felt appreciated by the person I dear so much, but seeing him happy with someone else is pretty like piercing me. Oooh jeeeez!

I can’t even run and exercise right now to get some endorphins because I am still injured. Hoping at least to divert my hard to spell mood.

Just a week ago, a superthyphoon struck my province, destroyed our house and leaving my family in evacuation center which means my financial support is much needed.

I really feel completely stuck right now. Spunk me for my foolishness’ sake but believe me I even envy the dead.  At least their sufferings are gone. Ohh God!

As much as I don’t want to entertain this negativities and chasing peace is as ridiculous as it sounds. It is just too heavy to carry right now. I know, these are just minor problems and might be just one of my lows. It is just one of those moments where I have felt like my emotions controlling me. I also know that there are much more than out there who are having worst than what I am experiencing right now….let me just unload it..

Still thankful that I’m alive.

Still grateful that I can still see the light.

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