Learn to say “No”: Lesson Learned

A sudden demand of  favor shook my morning mood today.
This happened many times already. But now, it is proper to say “NO”.

For so many years, I am the someone who always gave in to the requests of others, even when at a cost to myself. Admittedly, it is not really good to be that kind of person at all times.

Now though, having experienced burnout, I’m more aware of the need for boundaries. Let me share to you some realizations that I have in mind right now that you too may find useful

1. Let the proper timing do the result.
Don’t make a decision right away in the expense of your tomorrow. A very practical example:
If a person demanded you to let him borrow your hard earned money for some reasons other than a matter of life and death, knowing you yourself has nothing to give right away, don’t give in to that pit. Don’t barrow money from somebody just to accommodate someone’s demand. Don’t stress yourself whole day thinking someone’s problem.

2. Let them maximize their own capacity to think out of the box aside from leaning on you all the time.
In that way, you are also teaching them to expand their horizon, to find their own capacity to think and to be productive. Let them realize that you have your own time and life. Don’t let them step on your shadow. Eventually, they will think of other options.

3. Be fair enough to justify.
We can feel guilty about saying “ No”. Behind our mind, a sense of letting people down will haunt you through. Your limitations will upset some and frustrate others, but sticking with them will be best for everyone in the end.

We are human beings created to establish relationships. We also experienced the feeling of how to be rejected. That is why, it is so important to us to consider where our boundaries should be.
Without boundaries the lines in our personal and professional relationships become blurred. And when blurred they become unhealthy and ineffective.
In setting and making them clear for ourselves and others, we protect our relationships and well-being as well.

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